You Are Who You Believe You Are

Our subconscious, like a little voice, has this way of infecting our personalities in ways we are completely unaware of, until an interaction with another of our species brings up the question “Why did this person treat me this way?” Suddenly we’re looking for answers, and if we look closely and listen carefully to those wiser around us, we will indeed find the answer.

I had an experience last week with someone whom I felt humiliated me and embarrassed me for no reason that I could see at the time. I felt hurt and I got angry. I asked a close friend “What is it about me that makes some people treat me this way? I’m good to people, I don’t humiliate people”. At the end of the week I heard a story told by a very wise man that put it all into perspective and I found the answer to “Why do some people treat me this way”. I now know what to do with this information and how to act upon it to change and the answer could not have come at a more appropriate time.

The story is called “The Rabbi’s Gift”. This is the Dr M Scot Peck version and it goes something like this:
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The story concerns a monastery that had fallen upon hard times. Once a great order, as a result of waves of anti-monastic persecution in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries and the rise of secularism in the nineteenth, all its branch houses were lost and it had become decimated to the extent that there were only five monks left in the decaying mother house: the abbot and four others, all over seventy in age. Clearly it was a dying order.

In the deep woods surrounding the monastery there was a little hut that a rabbi from a nearby town occasionally used for a hermitage. Through their many years of prayer and contemplation the old monks had become a bit psychic, so they could always sense when the rabbi was in his hermitage. "The rabbi is in the woods, the rabbi is in the woods again", they would whisper to each other. As he agonized over the imminent death of his order, it occurred to the abbot at one such time to visit the hermitage and ask the rabbi if by some possible chance he could offer any advice that might save the monastery.

The rabbi welcomed the abbot at his hut. But when the abbot explained the purpose of his visit, the rabbi could only commiserate with him. "I know how it is," he exclaimed. "The spirit has gone out of the people. It is the same in my town. Almost no one comes to the synagogue anymore." So the old abbot and the old rabbi wept together. Then they read parts of the Torah and quietly spoke of deep things. The time came when the abbot had to leave. They embraced each other. "It has been a wonderful thing that we should meet after all these years, "the abbot said, "but I have still failed in my purpose for coming here. Is there nothing you can tell me, no piece of advice you can give me that would help me save my dying order?"

"No, I am sorry," the rabbi responded. "I have no advice to give. The only thing I can tell you is that the Messiah is one of you."

When the abbot returned to the monastery his fellow monks gathered around him to ask, "Well what did the rabbi say?" "He couldn't help," the abbot answered. "We just wept and read the Torah together. The only thing he did say, just as I was leaving --it was something cryptic-- was that the Messiah is one of us. I don't know what he meant."

In the days and weeks and months that followed, the old monks pondered this and wondered whether there was any possible significance to the rabbi's words. The Messiah is one of us? Could he possibly have meant one of us monks here at the monastery? If that's the case, which one? Do you suppose he meant the abbot? Yes, if he meant anyone, he probably meant Father Abbot. He has been our leader for more than a generation. On the other hand, he might have meant Brother Thomas. Certainly Brother Thomas is a holy man. Everyone knows that Thomas is a man of light. Certainly he could not have meant Brother Elred! Elred gets crotchety at times. But come to think of it, even though he is a thorn in people's sides, when you look back on it, Elred is virtually always right. Often very right. Maybe the rabbi did mean Brother Elred. But surely not Brother Phillip. Phillip is so passive, a real nobody. But then, almost mysteriously, he has a gift for somehow always being there when you need him. He just magically appears by your side. Maybe Phillip is the Messiah. Of course the rabbi didn't mean me. He couldn't possibly have meant me. I'm just an ordinary person. Yet supposing he did? Suppose I am the Messiah? O God, not me. I couldn't be that much for You, could I?

As they contemplated in this manner, the old monks began to treat each other with extraordinary respect on the off chance that one among them might be the Messiah. And on the off off chance that each monk himself might be the Messiah, they began to treat themselves with extraordinary respect.

Because the forest in which it was situated was beautiful, it so happened that people still occasionally came to visit the monastery to picnic on its tiny lawn, to wander along some of its paths, even now and then to go into the dilapidated chapel to meditate. As they did so, without even being conscious of it, they sensed the aura of extraordinary respect that now began to surround the five old monks and seemed to radiate out from them and permeate the atmosphere of the place. There was something strangely attractive, even compelling, about it. Hardly knowing why, they began to come back to the monastery more frequently to picnic, to play, to pray. They began to bring their friends to show them this special place. And their friends brought their friends.

Then it happened that some of the younger men who came to visit the monastery started to talk more and more with the old monks. After a while one asked if he could join them. Then another. And another. So within a few years the monastery had once again become a thriving order and, thanks to the rabbi's gift, a vibrant center of light and spirituality in the realm.

So here in this simple story, was the answer to my question that I had asked my close friend earlier in the week and had asked of myself for pretty much my whole life. There is a small quiet voice inside my head that tells me I’m not worthy, that I don’t really deserve respect, kindness and caring. I’ve had this voice since I was a child and when I was younger, before I had accomplished so much, the voice was quite loud. As I got older and started to accomplish things, the voice got quieter but it is still there, mulling around in the back of my brain somewhere. This is a common thing among children who have been abused and neglected and unfortunately we spend our lives trying to make this voice wrong by letting people who use our weakness against us, determine how we feel. We try over and over to sooth those feelings of being mistreated and neglected by trying desperately to gain respect, love, kindness and caring from people who are just not able to give those things. Somehow, we think in our heads that by accomplishing this, we will make everything that happened to us as children, right. The voice tells us that if we can get those things from THESE people, that we will finally be worthy. Nothing could be further from the truth.    

And so, through out my life, I have not only allowed people into my life that did not treat me with the respect, kindness and love that I deserved, but it became a vicious circle in which I found myself unable to escape. People would treat me badly; I would not stand up for myself but found myself unable to ignore what they did or said that made me feel so bad. Somewhere inside, I believed I deserved to be treated this way. This attitude at times has made me very unhappy and later in life has caused bouts of depression, anxiety, and at times the inability to get out of bed and face the world for fear that someone, somewhere along the way was going to hurt me again.

The truth, the absolute truth, as I see it now, is that I am God’s child. No matter what happened to me as a child, no matter that the people who raised me, were really messed up and attempted to instill in me this feeling of unworthiness, the facts speak for themselves. I come from a long line of people who have endured persecution, hatred, banishment and death. Throughout our history, at any given point, an event could have happened differently that would have made it impossible for me to even be. Yet, here I am. In the living flesh. God saw fit to allow me to be created, allowed me to be born when I could have ended up as a back alley abortion, allowed me to be raised in such a way that caused me to seek the truth of who I am, caused me to seek answers and in every way has provided me with people in my life that have showed me the answers, whether they meant to or not.

I can not control what people think of me, I can not control the way some people treat me. There are people in the world who see someone like me as weak and they attempt to use me to boost their own feelings of inadequacy within themselves instead of enjoying my company and allowing us to each explore and enjoy the gift of each other. I have no control over these people or how they behave. I do however, have control over how I react to what they say and do to me. I most assuredly am not a victim. I have control over the things I tell myself and that little voice in the back of my head that tells me I’m not worthy to be treated with respect, love, caring and kindness. I must, from now on, remember this story and tell myself each and every time I have an instance where someone treats me with disrespect or unkindness that I am a gift; a gift to myself, a gift to the world and that there is a reason, a good reason that I was created in the first place, and because of that, I am totally worthy. 


God has carved out a special place for me here and has given me a special purpose. I may struggle sometimes to know what that purpose is. I’m not perfect; who is? But I am a work in progress that if only because of my people’s history and how far I have come to be here in this place, at this time, I deserve respect, love and kindness. And anyone who does not show me that? Well, they are the ones in fact that are not worthy. They are not worthy of my time, my interest in any ideas they are attempting to manipulate me with, or worthy of my presence in their lives. I am a gift from God to this world, as we all are, that they can not appreciate and so it will not be given to them. 

The Torah makes it clear that unkind words and deeds are as abhorrent to God as murder, greed, lust or any other cardinal sin and to associate with people who do these things, I am helping them to sin. 

So, there, in the story of the Rabbi’s Gift and in the first, most sacred and holy text lays the answer to my small little problem. I can not control the wind but I can control my sails.

Live In Joy

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last year or more focusing on negative things because of the intolerable situation I let myself be put in but there have actually been quite a few positive things that have come out of it that I really should pay more attention to and focus on.

The first thing is that I was able to complete my conversion process and Judaism has brought me such comfort, joy and pride in spite of everything I have endured. I doubt that I would have been able to complete the process with the amount of passion that I did and I certainly wouldn’t have learned as much as I did about things that really weren’t part of the conversion process had I not gone through what I did. In doing all that I also made my Rabbi a very happy and proud man that his last conversion before his retirement was such a passionate and dedicated student. So the blessing was actually two-fold.

I got my freedom, something I really hadn’t had for 13 years. It is a different kind of freedom than I had in the past because I was able to negotiate and keep the best part of the relationship I had with my husband and that was our friendship. Being married to each other didn’t bring out the best in either one of us and now we’ve finally been able to be honest with each other and remain friends. I don’t think I would have been able to do this if not for having to deal with the difficult situation I had. The freedom now is also different than the freedom I had before I was married. I have a home, a really good job, my physical health is much better and I am more educated and spiritual which makes me more confident in who I am. I have done the work over the years and know exactly who I am.  

People are comfortable with people who feel comfortable about themselves. This transcends race, religion, culture, age and sexual orientation. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying”. How you feel about yourself shouts to me so loudly that what you say is almost irrelevant. This last year has taught me to have antenna now that I did not have before. Previously, when I met someone or talked to someone, even on the phone, I focused on how they made me feel.  Now, I know I can learn so much more by actually seeing and focusing on how the person feels about themselves. If they are not comfortable with themselves, they are going to attempt, whether consciously or subconsciously to put me in an uncomfortable situation as well. If a person is comfortable with themselves, then I’m going to feel comfortable relating with them and being involved with them. I have learned now that this is a fairly safe and sure barometer as to whether you should let someone in your life.   

Musically I gained quite a bit of knowledge about Latin music, something I always loved but had never been inspired to learn too much about. I found out that there is a colorful fluent history behind Latin music and it changed my perspective and increased the love I always had for it. I can hear now how the Latin Rhythms have influenced popular music and I can hear its influence in songs by some of my favorite bands and performers.   

I learned about a new language and even began to learn it, along with my required Hebrew language. Ladino, which is a part of Jewish culture and heritage, but not part of my Jewish heritage, is almost as old as Hebrew. I’m proud that I am one of few who know about it and that I also know the history behind it. I have found that it always impresses other Jews that first of all a convert, and second that an Ashkenazim would have knowledge of such a thing. It makes my heart happy to be able to share with someone something new about a part of their culture that they weren’t aware of before. It makes me feel like a bridge between the two groups, Ashkenazim and Sephardim, and in my mind it is a bridge that should have been built long ago.   

I started writing in earnest my book and have come quite far with it. I will finish it in the next year. Perhaps it will be published, perhaps it won’t but it will be a record of my life and experiences and I believe it is a story worth telling. I hope that if it published, it inspires, educates and comforts those who can connect with my story.

I have a new outlook on what it is like to be with people. I look at them differently now. I’ve had experiences with negative people, and I recognize the positive people. I now know the difference between a negative person, and someone who authentically cares about me. I know the difference between a negative person who looks down on me, and a person who really cares about me and considers me their equal. I can now recognize the difference between people who care that I’m happy and people who are jealous that I am. And I know which ones to avoid!

I know what I want in a relationship. I can not give up hope that I will find it. I want chemistry, someone I can have conversations with about anything, someone who makes me laugh and someone I can make laugh. I want attraction and romance and at this point in my life I know that if none of those things are there, it’s better to not have a “partner” and not having a “partner” is not a bad thing. I am never alone. I’m surrounded by friends who love and appreciate me. I would rather spend the time enjoying the life I have, which is a good one,  than spend the time wishing, waiting and hoping for something that is never going to happen and was never going to happen.

I have also learned another very important lesson, when to give up! Give up the minute you feel someone is not being open and honest. If you feel in the beginning that someone is hiding something, more than likely, they are. The time to leave is then. Don’t make excuses for them; don’t spend time trying to find out what it is that that they are hiding; don’t convince yourself that they will change. They won’t, trust me and your time is better spent with people who are open and honest with you. Leave before you are attached. It is way less painful that way. 

Another really valuable lesson I have learned is that people don’t really change who they are at their core. I will never ever go back and connect with anyone from my past again. There is a reason why they are in the past and that is exactly where they should stay. I don’t regret it, I had to go through it to learn the lesson but I won’t do it again. Just because you can reconnect with people from your past doesn’t mean you should. I’ve had three experiences so far with people from my past. Two of them turned out to be people who hurt me in this life worse than they ever hurt me in the past. The other one I’ve been friends with for more than twenty years, so it hasn’t all been bad. I just wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Leave the past where it belongs, in the past. There is nothing you can do about what happened there and more than likely, if you try to change the past, you will find it more painful than the first time around. People just don’t change that much. You can only change yourself and what happens now.

I am learning a lesson now from my life over the last year or more that you’d think at my age I would have learned long ago considering what my childhood was like and other parts of my life as well. This is probably the most important concept because it ties everything together. And that concept is forgiveness. Forgive the person who has injured you, not for them, for yourself because as long as you can’t forgive them, try to understand what they did, why they did it, as long as you are focused on the wrong that was done to you, carry it around inside you, you can’t focus on the joy in your life. Forgiveness comes at the realization and acceptance that things could not have turned out any other way. Forgiveness comes when you stop making excuses for the person, stop trying to figure out why, stop rationalizing their behavior and just accept that they have a defect in their personality, you can’t change them, you feel sorry for them, but them injuring you is not your fault. The fact that the person has this defect made it impossible for the situation to turn out any other way. Forgive and then you can move on and live in joy. Of course this doesn’t mean that in forgiving the person you have to have them in your life or trust them again. In fact, they don’t even need to know that you forgive them because you’re not doing it for them; you are doing it for yourself and all the people involved in your life. The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to move forward is the happiest. Be brave. Be strong. Be happy. Be free. Your responsibility in life is to find a way, for the next generations, for your family, and friends, to live in joy. You are useless to anybody including yourself if you are living in despondency and blame.

I recently saw an interview with Jake Ehrenreich, the author and star of the Broadway one man show, A Jew Grows in Brooklyn. When asked why a people who had endured so much hatred and horror, so much persecution, the Jewish people, could be so involved in the world of comedy, his response hit very close to home. He said that in order to live, you need to live in joy and he is right. We all have challenges in our lives and things that are better in our lives. You can focus on one or the other. They’re all real. It is true that they are both real. People who are depressed; they have a tendency to focus on those negative things in their lives. My mother was like that. Still is actually. People who live in joy, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have challenges in their lives, they do, but they focus mostly on the joy. Somehow as a people we have figured out a way to laugh through the imperfections of life. It is very unusual, but when you talk about the idea of a people, it is something that we as Jews can be very proud of because laughing through the misery and through the hard times and finding something funny, is a real gift. I am a part of these people. I may not have been raised in the culture but I have been around it most of my life and I have the genetics, no question. When I look at myself now, I see an Irish Jew. It all makes sense; the gift of gab, my sense of humor. I know who I am and I am proud of who I am. I will never again let someone make me feel less than because I am more than most people ever deserve. I am more than most people are ever worthy of simply because I have overcome so much and have come out not just ahead but actually enlightened. And my greatest gift from the creator is the ability to know when it is time to make a change and my capacity to make that change. I would have never thought in my twenties that I would have become a successful professional, a spiritually enlightened, funny woman, who like a cat has had many lives and life experiences. I will still struggle, because after all I am human and my most difficult challenge is to miss someone once I am “involved”. I always find it difficult to accept that at times in my life I have wanted to be with people who not only never really wanted to be with me, but never had the intention to do so. I always find it hard to accept and to understand why some people would purposely set out to deceive and hurt others but I am not alone in that. Every person comes into your life to teach you a lesson. I can take some comfort in that, comfort in my friends and parts of my family who do love me and want to spend time with me. I need to learn my lessons well, take my medicine when I make mistakes and live for the joy. That’s really all any of us can do.  

Remember, we may have different faces, we may have different faiths, but above all, we must see each other as members of one human family. A great Jewish sage said, “If you believe that it can be broken, then you must know it can also be fixed”. 

Alone Again...Naturally

There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone all those years ago before I married. It’s wasn’t because I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone because what if you learn that you need love, and then you don’t have it. What if you like it, and lean on it, what if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart. Can you even survive that kind of pain? I still don't know if you can. Loosing love is like organ damage, it’s like dying. The only difference is, death ends; this...it could go on forever.

You can seek the advice of others; surround yourself with trusted advisers but in the end the decision is always yours and yours alone. Everyone has a method of how to get over loosing love but when it’s time to act and you’re all alone with your back against the wall, the only voice that matters is the one in your head. The one telling you what you probably already knew, the one that’s almost always right. 

The next step though is predicated upon being able to hear that voice in your head and many of us have more than one, leaving us confused and not knowing which way to go. We have the one that wants to believe the best and the one that believes every one of us is selfish at our core; that there is no one on the planet who thinks about others. Two competing theories that have the same outcome...at the end of the day...you are alone...again, naturally. 

In Gilbert O'Sulivan's song he talks about being left at the alter and wanting to throw himself off a tower. He was looking forward to his new life and role as a husband, and in an instant reality cut him to pieces causing him to doubt in God's mercy, even God's very existence. The truth as I have come to know it through the study of Kabbalah is that God put everything here; the good , the bad and everything in between so that when we are in doubt, we would seek knowledge in order to be closer to the creator. Each one of us at any given moment, in sorrow or immense happiness can choose to seek knowledge. 

Every one of us has only two choices in life, no matter what situation we are faced with. We think because we're human we have free will in all things but the reality is this: We have only two choices, to activate either the will to receive or the will to bestow. There are no other choices. When you are in a place where you feel you have lost love, the best way to get out of your head, and stop listening to the two competing voices is to activate the will to bestow. Go do something for someone or something else; something that is not self serving. You wil find first of all, love is there because whom ever you bestow upon will be grateful and will show you love in return, but it will also make your pain seem very small when compared to someone who doesn't have food or an animal who has been mistreated and neglected. The added benefit is that even though the reality is, we are each alone in this world, when you help someone or something else, you don't feel it as much.

The Thread of Life

We dream of hope, we dream of change; the fire of love, of death. Then it happens, the dream becomes real and the answer to this quest, this need to solve life’s mysteries finally shows itself, like the glowing light of a new dawn.

So much struggle for meaning, for purpose and in the end we only find it in each other; our shared experience of the fantastic and of the mundane. The simple human need to find kindred, to connect and know in our hearts that we are not alone.

In the on going search for one’s self, there are days when we learn something genuinely new, something uncovered; hidden, that we never knew was there. Something that surprises us; and on that day of self discovery, a question remains. What kind of person are we? Does the hero or the villain inside us win the day?

And as the search for self continues, we look for answers everywhere; in nature, in God, in tiny tragedies that may never be understood. But still we are driven to it, single minded on one goal, to find our purpose on this earth. No matter what the ramifications, the friendships that may be hurt or the deals with the devil we need to make.

 There is good and there is evil, right and wrong, heroes and villains and if we’re blessed with wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each where light streams through. We wait in silence for these times when sense can be made; when meaningless existence comes into focus and our purpose presents itself and if we have the strength to be honest, then what we find there staring back at us is our own reflection…bearing witness to the duality of life that each one of us is capable of both the dark and the light, good and evil, of either, of all and destiny while marching ever in our direction can be rerouted by the choices we make; by the love we hold on to and the promises we keep.

We are all connected; joined together by an invisible thread. Infinite in it’s potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected we are also merely individuals, empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities; an assortment of thoughts, beliefs, a collection of disjointed memories and experiences. Can I be me without these? Can you be you? And if these invisible threads that hold us together were to ever cease what then? What would become of billions of lone disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives; to find, to connect, to hold on. For when our hearts are pure and our thoughts in line, we are truly one, capable of repairing our fragile world and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.

There are nearly 7 billion people on this planet. Each one unique; different. What are the chances of that and why is it simply biology, physiology that determines this diversity? A collection of thoughts, memories, experiences that carve out our own special place or is it something more than this? Perhaps there is a master plan that drives the randomness of creation. Something unknowable that dwells in the soul and presents each one of us with a unique set of challenges that will help us discover who we really are.

At 54 I’m still discovering who I am; uncovering new strengths, new connections to the world around me. I am like a deep never ending well, full of the water of possibilities, yet also filled with the memories of my past. These are the things of which I dream; of a past filled with immeasurable pleasures and excruciating pains and of a future filled with infinite possibilities for more of both. Either way, I will learn, grow and become a stronger person for what experiences and connections I forge, what ever the outcome may be. It is not being alive that's important, it is the living.   

What I Have Lived For

 

The Prologue to Bertrand Russell's Autobiography

"Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.  

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved. 

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.  

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me."

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) won the Nobel prize for literature for his History of Western Philosophy and was the co-author of Principia Mathematica.

Blessings

One of the biggest mistakes that people make is that we all tend to take life for granted. Very often the joy of life, the wonder of life, the awe inspiring nature of life, is forgotten, unseen. All of us tend to be so busy, so distracted in life that very often we can miss the wonder and the miracle of life. Not just in the grandeur of nature but in the splendor of the people we love, and all we have in life, the sustenance we have. For example the ability to live in a free country, to have close friends, the ability to live in a situation surrounded by people who love us and give us the opportunity to be enriched by them. We also live in a land of plenty but unfortunately not only is the plenty over looked, but it never seems to be enough. We take for granted what we have. By going out of our way to notice everything of beauty that we see and hear, what we eat and drink, who we talk to and connect with, it helps us to be grateful for what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t.

I think the difference between a happy person and a sad one is that a happy person is grateful for what they have and focuses on that on a daily basis. An unhappy person is consumed by what they don’t have, overwhelmed by what they do have, and living is a source of pain for them and for the people who get involved with them. Whatever you focus on only gets larger, so if you constantly worry that things are not going to work out, they probably won’t. If you constantly worry about whether people are going to disappoint you, they probably will. If you are constantly on the lookout for someone to cheat you or get over on you, no doubt, someone will. If you consistently look for inconsistencies in other people’s behaviors, you will find them because we’re all human and we’re all different. If you dismiss people because you find them incompatible before you’ve even given them a chance to really show whether they are or not, you will end up alone, sad and disappointed because everyone is incompatible with everyone else on some level.

A happy person wakes up every day grateful to be alive another day, grateful that the sun is shining or the rain is falling, happy they have a job, happy they have a family, happy they have friends and connections with people who enrich their lives on a daily basis. Instead of looking for inconsistencies and incompatibilities, a happy person looks for the things they have in common with others and celebrates and tries to understand the differences. A happy person wonders every day what can they do to make the world a better place, whether it is simply having a nice conversation with the lady who cleans the bathrooms in the office at the end of the day, asking her how she is, how her family is, cracking a joke and making her smile, or calling someone you haven’t talked to in a while and letting them know that you’re thinking about them. Even something as simple as sending someone you like a text message with a smiley face could brighten their day when it hasn’t been going so good. There are so many small things that can be done for others that in the end make you a happy person because you’ve done something for someone else.

Every one of us has a special purpose, a special mitzvah if you will, that we are supposed to accomplish in our time here. In case there is someone out there that doesn’t know, there are really two meanings to the word Mitzvah. One is of course the commandments or Mitzvoh which is the plural of Mitzvah, and the other meaning is "acts of loving kindness". Everyone has specific "acts of loving kindness" that are their very own purpose. For most of us, we have no idea what that is. If I were to think about what mine is, I’m sure it would have something to do with animals. I have taken in strays in for most of my life, mostly cats, but I had a dog as well for 15 years. I feed the birds and squirrels that come into my yard year round and always make sure, no matter what the season that they have fresh water to drink. I volunteer at a horse rescue farm which rescues and rehabilitates horses that have been neglected and abused. At work I buy peanuts from the hot dog man and feed them to the city squirrels. I’m not sure if this is my purpose but it seems like it might be. I’m not sure how acts of loving kindness towards animals helps the human race but I like to think that it does somehow. It sure makes me feel good and makes me happy.

Shabbat Shalom everyone!  

                           Squirrel sitting on my leg at work eating a peanut!

The Walrus and The Carpenter

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done--
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead--
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"

"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head--
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat--
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed--
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed."

"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said.
"Do you admire the view?

"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf--
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

~~ Lewis Carroll

I love this poem. It is from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, written in 1872. My interpretation of this crazy poem is that the Walrus and the Carpenter asked the Oysters to walk with them along the beach knowing the whole time they were going to eat them. The older oysters refused, knowing what was going to happen But the young oysters didn't know any better and so they eagerly followed the Walrus and the Carpenter thinking they were going to have a pleasant walk and talk along the beach, only to meet their sad fate along with a loaf of bread. I don't eat oysters myself but I have heard they are delicious!   

No News is Good News

I consider myself to be up on current events. It wasn’t always this way, and I’m not sure when that changed. I can remember being in my 20s and the last thing I would watch on TV or listen to on the radio was a news broadcast. Maybe it changed with the advent of the “24 Hour News Cycle”, I don’t know.

Yesterday’s big story was the charge of cheating on the Olympic Badminton team. I didn’t even know this was an Olympic sport and for such hell to be raised over them cheating just left me gobsmacked. Apparently they were throwing games to get an easier draw in the finals. I’ve been told that this happens in Soccer quite frequently. In soccer, that makes sense to me, but in badminton? Really?

Then there was the story of needles in the airline sandwiches. Needles! What kind of person does such a thing I wondered? They declared it wasn’t a terrorist act. Really? You don’t say? This is not something that would have entered my mind first off – “Oh, needles in airplane sandwiches, must be terrorists!” Who ever it was that did this was just some sick person. They deemed it to be a “prank”. A prank? Ok, I think it’s a little more serious than a prank but not serious enough to suspect terrorism…just saying.

Then there is the uplifting story of the girl who lifted a car off of her father and gave him CPR and saved his life. The incident happened in the family’s garage. While I’m glad her dad is ok, and impressed that she saved his life, my first question was “How did the car get on top of him in the first place, in the family garage of all places?” But all is well that ends well. The girl still has her daddy though they didn’t mention what kind of shape the car was in.

There seems to always be something going on and none of it is usually very good. There are a lot of days when I just simply don’t watch the news because it seems to all be bad. I have a suggestion. I think once or twice a week, all the news stations, including the 24 hour a day cable ones, should take a day or two and only report good news! Imagine a broadcast filled with only good new stories: A country was saved from famine and poverty, a war was over when negotiations were reached, or better yet, a war was avoided because the parties came to an understanding of each other,  all abandoned dogs and cats were taken in by loving families, a cat saved it’s owners life by dialing 911 and meowing into the phone, a dog pulled someone to safety after the person fell and was hanging on a cliff’s edge, the garbage collectors in New York City picked up all the trash bags in the street and for once the city is sparkling clean, a religious conference was held with all the people in the world of different faiths and everyone decided to just “get along”, all the spammers and hackers in the world were captured and forced to do community services. These are the stories that I would like to hear about.  

I often wonder what it will be like in 200, 500, 1000 years from now, if there are still people on this planet, if they will pull these old news stories and wonder “What were they thinking?” or if they will be impressed with our ability to find some news, somewhere, 24 hours a day, 7 days week, even if most of it was in fact bad. Maybe some executive from some broadcasting company somewhere will read this blog and take my suggestion. A girl can hope can’t she?