We dream of hope, we dream of change; the fire of love, of
death. Then it happens, the dream becomes real and the answer to this quest,
this need to solve life’s mysteries finally shows itself, like the glowing
light of a new dawn.
So much struggle for meaning,
for purpose and in the end we only find it in each other; our shared experience
of the fantastic and of the mundane. The simple human need to find kindred, to
connect and know in our hearts that we are not alone.
In the on going search for one’s self, there are days when
we learn something genuinely new, something uncovered; hidden, that we never
knew was there. Something that surprises us; and on that day of self discovery,
a question remains. What kind of person are we? Does the hero or the villain
inside us win the day?
And as the search for self
continues, we look for answers everywhere; in nature, in God, in tiny tragedies
that may never be understood. But still we are driven to it, single minded on
one goal, to find our purpose on this earth. No matter what the ramifications,
the friendships that may be hurt or the deals with the devil we need to make.
There is good and
there is evil, right and wrong, heroes and villains and if we’re blessed with
wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each where light streams
through. We wait in silence for these times when sense can be made; when
meaningless existence comes into focus and our purpose presents itself and if
we have the strength to be honest, then what we find there staring back at us
is our own reflection…bearing witness to the duality of life that each one of
us is capable of both the dark and the light, good and evil, of either, of all
and destiny while marching ever in our direction can be rerouted by the choices
we make; by the love we hold on to and the promises we keep.
We are all connected; joined together by an invisible
thread. Infinite in it’s potential and fragile in its design. Yet while
connected we are also merely individuals, empty vessels to be filled with infinite
possibilities; an assortment of thoughts, beliefs, a collection of disjointed
memories and experiences. Can I be me without these? Can you be you? And if
these invisible threads that hold us together were to ever cease what then?
What would become of billions of lone disconnected souls? Therein lies the
great quest of our lives; to find, to connect, to hold on. For when our hearts
are pure and our thoughts in line, we are truly one, capable of repairing our
fragile world and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.
There are nearly 7 billion people on this planet. Each one
unique; different. What are the chances of that and why is it simply biology, physiology
that determines this diversity? A collection of thoughts, memories, experiences
that carve out our own special place or is it something more than this? Perhaps
there is a master plan that drives the randomness of creation. Something
unknowable that dwells in the soul and presents each one of us with a unique
set of challenges that will help us discover who we really are.
At 54 I’m still discovering who I am; uncovering new
strengths, new connections to the world around me. I am like a deep never
ending well, full of the water of possibilities, yet also filled with the
memories of my past. These are the things of which I dream; of a past filled with immeasurable pleasures and excruciating pains and of
a future filled with infinite possibilities for more of both. Either way, I will learn, grow and become a stronger person for what experiences and connections I forge, what ever the outcome may be. It is not being alive that's important, it is the living.
