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Welcome to Notes In My Head. I can sometimes be a deep thinker. Some would say I think too much. This blog is an expression of things that go through my head. I hope people enjoy reading this and get either a laugh or learn something. Feel free to comment. I enjoy the feedback...as long as it's constructive. :-)

Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Thread of Life

We dream of hope, we dream of change; the fire of love, of death. Then it happens, the dream becomes real and the answer to this quest, this need to solve life’s mysteries finally shows itself, like the glowing light of a new dawn.

So much struggle for meaning, for purpose and in the end we only find it in each other; our shared experience of the fantastic and of the mundane. The simple human need to find kindred, to connect and know in our hearts that we are not alone.

In the on going search for one’s self, there are days when we learn something genuinely new, something uncovered; hidden, that we never knew was there. Something that surprises us; and on that day of self discovery, a question remains. What kind of person are we? Does the hero or the villain inside us win the day?

And as the search for self continues, we look for answers everywhere; in nature, in God, in tiny tragedies that may never be understood. But still we are driven to it, single minded on one goal, to find our purpose on this earth. No matter what the ramifications, the friendships that may be hurt or the deals with the devil we need to make.

 There is good and there is evil, right and wrong, heroes and villains and if we’re blessed with wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each where light streams through. We wait in silence for these times when sense can be made; when meaningless existence comes into focus and our purpose presents itself and if we have the strength to be honest, then what we find there staring back at us is our own reflection…bearing witness to the duality of life that each one of us is capable of both the dark and the light, good and evil, of either, of all and destiny while marching ever in our direction can be rerouted by the choices we make; by the love we hold on to and the promises we keep.


We are all connected; joined together by an invisible thread. Infinite in it’s potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected we are also merely individuals, empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities; an assortment of thoughts, beliefs, a collection of disjointed memories and experiences. Can I be me without these? Can you be you? And if these invisible threads that hold us together were to ever cease what then? What would become of billions of lone disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives; to find, to connect, to hold on. For when our hearts are pure and our thoughts in line, we are truly one, capable of repairing our fragile world and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.


There are nearly 7 billion people on this planet. Each one unique; different. What are the chances of that and why is it simply biology, physiology that determines this diversity? A collection of thoughts, memories, experiences that carve out our own special place or is it something more than this? Perhaps there is a master plan that drives the randomness of creation. Something unknowable that dwells in the soul and presents each one of us with a unique set of challenges that will help us discover who we really are.

At 54 I’m still discovering who I am; uncovering new strengths, new connections to the world around me. I am like a deep never ending well, full of the water of possibilities, yet also filled with the memories of my past. These are the things of which I dream; of a past filled with immeasurable pleasures and excruciating pains and of a future filled with infinite possibilities for more of both. Either way, I will learn, grow and become a stronger person for what experiences and connections I forge, what ever the outcome may be. It is not being alive that's important, it is the living.   

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