What's Love Got To With it?

 

 There have been so many songs written about love. Two come to mind immediately, "When A Man Loves A Woman" by Percy Sledge and "When A Woman Loves A Man" by Westlife. It seems that everyone on the planet is trying to figure it out, trying to find it, hold on to it or avoid it all together. 

There are so many theories on love. Some believe you can love more than one person in your lifetime, others believe it only happens once. I would have to say I fall into the latter camp. In everyone's life, I believe, there is always that one person you can never forget, that one person that no matter what happens, you'll always be in love with. You're very lucky if you end up with that person because then you don't have to forget them. But I think most people do not end up with that one, either because of circumstances, or because love does have this uncanny ability to go only one way. Sadly, usually, the person you can never forget, forgets you very easily.

There is no manual, no instructions, no rules no step by step way to be in love. It can't be forced, or coerced, or tricked. I believe it is truly a chemical thing, the way your mind and body reacts to the sound of a specific person's voice, or when you are in that person's presence. It is "drug-like" and the withdrawal can be excruciatingly painful. There are moments when you believe the pain will never end. And so you try to hate them instead. You try to come up with everything they did in the relationship that was cruel or dishonest or disrespectful. You try to be real with yourself and just try to come to grips with the fact that the person, your person, just doesn't love you, or care about you and all their behavior in the relationship proves it so you have to let it go, you have no choice. This doesn't really help either but it might get you through a few minutes.

If you look around, there are people out there who believe they have the answer. "How to get and keep the man of your dreams", Rori Raye, "How to live your best life", Oprah Winfrey, "Personal Power", Tony Robbins, to name a few. And while all of the techniques taught in these programs can be helpful, at the end of day, there really isn't anything you can do. You love who you love, and if they don't love you back, well, you just have to somehow learn to live with it. You somehow have to put one foot in front of the other and get on with your life because there really isn't any other alternative. Alfred Lord Tennyson said it best in his poem In Memorandum written in 1850:

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all."