Occam's Razor - The Oldest Answer to New Problems

  The answer to all of life's proverbial problems and dilemmas can be answered with one simple principle, Occam's Razor. The 14th century logician and Franciscan friar William of Ockham stated that people should select from competing hypotheses, the one which makes the fewest assumptions, the one that has a simpler explanation rather than a more complex one. The theory has been applied in science, philosophy, mathematics, and statistics. It is the oldest version of the saying "Keep it Simple Stupid" or KISS. 

In life we run across competing hypotheses on an almost constant basis as we navigate the waters of human relationships. There are competing hypotheses in everything from relationships between men and women to relationships with our children. And we have ways to express these hypotheses to each other and receive feedback on our hypotheses as social media takes over the planet. Everyone has problems (competing hypotheses) and there is always someone there to read about it, or write about their own experiences, if only in 140 character tweets.

It makes me wonder about people who did not have this expression at their fingertips. Would Marilyn Monroe have swallowed a bottle of pills and alcohol if she had had twitter? Would James Dean been so self destructive if he'd had a My Space page where he could interact with his fans? What about Mark Anthony? If he'd had a Facebook page, a place where he could declare his undying love for Cleopatra and receive comments the likes of "Yea man, she's hot", or "Man, that bitch be playin you", would he have fallen on his own sword for her? I think not. 

But Occam's Razor depends on you being able to reasonably figure out which is the simpler explanation. The truth is, and especially when it has to do with relationships, we make things so complicated and I think we do it just because the simpler explanation is just more painful than we can wrap our heads around. We all have histories, blueprints of our lives that determine our behaviors towards others; blueprints that define what we will and will not believe about each other. The truth is, a person who behaves as if they don't care, really just doesn't care. We can fool ourselves into thinking up all kinds of reasons why the person behaves that way. We can even listen to their explanations and believe them, because we so want to, up to a certain point. But at the end of the day, you have to look at the way the person behaved throughout your interactions with them, not what they said, but what they did. If their behavior doesn't line up with what their explanations are, they are not being truthful. It's not your job to figure out WHY they are not being truthful, only that they are not. "Why" is for their therapist. If you try to figure out why, you'll be the one that ends up in an asylum somewhere, drooling in the corner with your arms wrapped in one of those oh-so-fashionable jackets. When a person lies to people, it's a flaw in THEIR character, not yours so don't take it personally. Just get out of their way and make way for someone who doesn't lie. Occam's Razor - sometimes the simplest answer is the best answer and the one that's right in front of you. Less assumptions to worry about, it is what it is, nothing more, nothing less.  

The trick is finding someone with whom you can balance the meeting of each others needs and desires. We all have selfish moments. We have moments where we only think of ourselves. But most of us don't live our whole life that way. We have all been in relationships where we have had our hearts broken, and we have been in relationships where we broke someone's heart. In life, as it goes, some days you're the windshield and some days...well, some days you're the bug.