Moving On Is Not The Same As Letting Go

Here’s a question. Can two people really be “meant for each other”, “soul mates”? It would be nice if this were the case. It would be nice to know that all of us have someone out there waiting for us; us waiting for them. I’m just not sure I believe this any more.

The argument for believing it is “Why not believe it?” Who doesn’t want more romance in their life? Who wants to feel alone in the world? Not any one that I know. Maybe it is just up to us to make it happen; to actually show up and be “meant for each other”. If you do that, at least you’ll find out for sure if you’re really meant to be or not. But so many are not willing to even show up; not willing to take the risk that they could be wrong.

It can be very scary to find out that you’re wrong about someone. But we can’t be afraid to change our minds; to accept that things are actually different than what we thought they were; and that they will never be the same. For better or worse we have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. We have to be willing to not just move on, but to let go of those old beliefs. Because once we know we were wrong about someone, there really is no point in belaboring it. If you don’t move on AND don’t let go, you end up in a vicious cycle of telling yourself, “Well, if he had only done this or that”, or “But he had these ‘special circumstances’, that’s why he behaved the way he did”. As Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory said, “If ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ were candy and nuts, oh what a Christmas we’d have”. The fact is, they didn’t do this or that, and their special circumstance doesn’t give them special rights to hurt people. So forget it, move on, let go. Accept that they’re a crappy person and you were wrong in thinking anything else; that you weren’t “meant for each other” and that’s that.

The more we are willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we’ll find ourselves exactly where we belong. If your two hands are busy holding on to someone who wasn’t right for you, wasn’t “meant for you”, you have no hands to embrace the one who is out there waiting, the who actually does show up; is willing to take the risk of possibly being wrong and can make the saying “meant for each other” a reality.