Love Hurts

Some say love is the only thing in life we have that's real. Some say life would be a whole lot better without it. For me, the jury is still out. 

I loved that pet rock my brother gave me for my birthday because it was from him. Then I threw it at Danny Mangrum; hit him right in the temple. He went down like a Christmas tree in January. I loved Danny. I just wanted to make sure he knew it. I think he did. He ended up being my first kiss.  

Life is long and love is...well, love. It's messy and scary and wonderful and can move mountains. But two people have to love each other enough to make it work. And when they do, I believe it isn't so hard to make it work, or at least it shouldn't be.

We always seem to hurt the ones we love the most or the ones we love the most, hurt us. This is also the power of love because if we didn't love, we wouldn't be hurt. And I believe the amount we are hurt by the one we love is in direct proportion to how much we love them. 

When we're hurt, we inevitably do the one thing that makes it not work, that pushes the one we love away; the last thing we want when we love someone. But we can't seem to help ourselves. We throw that pet rock at them, thinking we'll then get their attention; they will then know how much we love them when in reality, all they see is that we tried to hurt them and they back further away. Because whether we love a little, or a lot, the last thing anyone wants is to be hurt. 

But if we want to feel the mountain move, if we want to feel the joy of truly loving someone, this is the risk we take, the risk of being hurt because with out love, what else is there to life? No one ever laid on their deathbed and said "I'm glad I performed well at my job", "I'm glad I micro managed my child to the point of them not being able to be their own person", or even worse, "I'm glad I let my child run free with no guidance because it made them a strong person", or "I'm glad I let that girl slip away because I was so scared". No, if we have never taken a risk for love, never loved anyone enough to put our own own needs aside for a moment, never felt that mountain move, that will be the biggest regret we have when we lay dying. If we aren't willing to take the risk, within reason of course, to show our children what a healthy loving relationship is, then that will not only be our regret, but our children's regret as well.

I can't say love is the only thing that's real, and I can't say the world would be better off without it. I can only say, I loved someone once, still love them. I put my own needs aside and put him first. I took a risk and it didn't work out. He lied, used and hurt me. But I felt the mountain move and I will have no regrets. I will end up a stronger person for it and one day, one day I will wake up, the pain will be gone, and I won't care any more, because I won't love him. He won't know it of course, but that day will be the day that he looses the best gift that was ever given to him.